“Covenant” ड्रीम्स की रासलीला

ख्वाब तो देखे थे हमने भी अनेक पर रह गये अधिकतर बनकर “Covenant” ड्रीम्स

आज़ादियाँ जब लिखी गयीं थी कुछ पन्नो पर कहीं और ज़ंजीरो में जकड़ी गयीं हमारी “artificial” थीम्स

“Crawl” कर रहे थे हम तकलीफ में कहीं, सोचा था के येही है अपनी असली “speed”

कुछ नहीं थी कुछ नहीं थी; मियां नादान थी और है अपनी यह ever growing “greed”

जब मुड़ना था दुनिया की और हमे “to show them the middle finger”

पलटवार हुआ तगड़ा हमी पर जब मुड़ी दुनिया हमारी ही ओर “to show me their own linger”

दुःख देखा दुसरे का और turn हुए हम तुरंत ही “into a modern sadistic”

“ROFL” हुए मन ही मन हम और बड़े आगे crawling “to know more of the renowned mystic”

अब पकड़ हो रही थी हम पर और भी मजबूत “to completely bury my thoughts on freedom”

इरादे ले रहे थे अपनी आखरी सांस सुनते हुए puppet player ki की एक कर्राती आवाज़ “fu## you and your thoughts on freedom”

लिए चल रहा हूँ इन ज़ंजीरो को कबसे नाजाने; टूटेंगी यह एक दिन यही लगी है कबसे आस

ख्वाबो को करना है पूरा हमे न की देखना है यह “Covenant” ड्रीम्स का बड़ता हुआ अशलील रास

© Copyright Akrox!! 2012.All Rights Reserved 

Love Beyond Options- The Second Angel: Chapter 1 (Mixed Emotions)

1^st October, 2010, 5PM, 520 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, USA

Taking time out of the monotonous materialistic chores at the client’s office, I peeped outside the window looking with gusty astonishment at the Independence Hall across the road. Standing tall and stout, it signified “freedom”, such a stark paradox to my own life right then. I sipped in the hot beverage and rushed to finish my chorus and get ready for a long flight back to India.

 I had always been good in picking options in my life, be it choosing one from four during the objective miseries at college or evaluating capital projects and assisting clients on choosing their perfect fit; but I never realised that formulae are defined to unburden the paper work, not to calculate the fit in your own life and easily pick the perfect one.

 As I took my boarding pass at the Philadelphia International Airport, traces of images of a breathtaking “mole” brimmed through my mind.

It all appeared slow and lull in front of the eyes as it took me ages to get into the aircraft and take my seat. I took a piece of paper out and started scribbling the story; the story of the second angel of my life.

4PM, 27^th Feb, 2010, Varanasi, UP, India

As I was returning after a shopping spree with my mom, my eyeballs traced the path of Hotel Grand Palace, which appeared tinge more presentable today. It was the lucky location of tonight’s entertainment and the feeling had yet to sink in that it was my evening, the evening to play the prince charming of someone else’s life while people surrounding me would celebrate an important milestone in my life.

In my room I suddenly saw my Blackberry do a jig, it was Riddhima’s call. She sounded a bit excited about tonight’s proceedings as I nodded to whatever she said and smiled back. She was my to-be wife, a doctor by profession and definitely came across as someone with matured grey cells, one of the very few reasons I said yes for her after a marathon of proposals that came in for me.

An MBA graduate from a top business school, having an enviable consultant job in an equally enviable company, I was considered to be a rare breed in the small town of Varanasi. At times, it wasn’t just my family but every Banarasi babu who expected me to reach soaring heights in my life, “Gupta ji aapka ladka aasman chuega”, “kaash aisa beta hume bhagwaan ne dia hota”, was something I would hear penetrating the walls of my house every now and then. It never bothered me a bit as I sailed through winning every stroke of my “options” theory 

3^rd March, 2010, Hyderabad Office

Riddhima was on a sabbatical to celebrate one of the most important events of her life while I was fighting with pieces of paper in the office. 3 days into my marriage and I had to fly to Hyderabad for an important news boss had for me. I took Riddhima along for a cameo honeymoon and she as I presumed wore the mature head and readily accepted the fact that our stint honeymoon would be delayed for sometime atleast

“Welcome Armaan, there is some news for u”, a sound like a TV channel breaking some news greeted me as I entered my boss’s cabin. “The deal that we were working so hard to strike has finally been cleared and yes it seems your marriage has unlocked the ever so unlikely”, he smiled and happily emoted the news to me about a client’s new project in the US. “And yes you’ll be leading the project group and you will have to leave with the team for Philadelphia tomorrow itself”. Mixed emotions became the order of my day as I became reluctant to take this small divorce from my new marriage for 6 months, 6 long months. On my way back home, all what I was thinking was means to let Riddhima know about it when suddenly……

I am BLUE where i matter the most

Coming Soon...

Tears of Agony

 

She could well understand, what it all had
With all the pain and the emotional adrenal
She did try and put forth the loveable clad
As the eyeballs clashed and sympathised my tears of agony

Time for me to understand as the game turned, and as the agony unfolded in a manner unprecedented
Her tears fell and greeted my tender palms
As I savoured and looked back
And emphasised on my “agony” supporting hers

We both looked and admired the pain
That gentle smile of the aching support
The arms opened up to hug my pain
From tears of agony to tears of love, more drops could now hit the ground hard

Unparalleled love was and still is
Pure and lucid and the innocent cupid
Tears of agony we may all have
But how long can the agony survive?

© Copyright Akrox!! 2012.All Rights Reserved

Romancing God's Own Imagination

I stood and admired God's own imagination
The Ambience stood still while my soul was experiencing a gentle adrenal
Yeah, human blasphemy was far away from all the materialistic aspiration

Locked for those few moments with the transparent nature
The beauty was a hangover as I imbibed all the purity around
Hmmm it wasn't me as such; it was just my romance with the waves, the lineage of coconut and God's own imagination

© Copyright Akrox!! 2012.All Rights Reserved

Photo Credits: Ashutosh Vikram
Place to be credited: Kappad Beach, Kozhikode, Kerala

Game Changers

The Journey I Yearn

Take me to the woods deemed far

With colossal tranquility and bleeding transparency

Take me beyond the winds

Where I and agony are distant stars

Take me to the breeding ground of purity

Where I hold hands with the beryl skies and the autumn

Take me to a metaphor of heaven

Where the emotions are not thy, not my

Take me to a field plain

With no fear of skyscrapering dreams

Take me to the flowing waters

To rinse some of the dirt aided steams

Take me away from this game of clashing heydays

With chronic exercise of plasticity  

Take me away from these half won battles

Where my distinction is no more a deciding factor

Take me as I stand alone and strangled

And the soul gives a loud cry, “Take me…take me…..”

From lucid love to testosteronal arrogance

Sometime in the summer of ‘69 on his broken cot, in the natural ambi-pur of his hamlet:

“वो हसे तो सूरज भी रोशनी के प्रकोप से अपनी आँखें बंद कर ले, वो रोये तो अँधेरा भी गम की चादर ओडे रो पड़े...दूर से बैठे हुए उन्हें देखना जब सब कुछ होने का एहसास दिला देता था...उनकी यादों में इतना सुकून हैं...वो मिल जाते तो बात ही क्या थी*.." was a saying in pain…alas! his emotions could never be packeted on the emotional bandwidth;  he never had the courage to recite those golden words in her presence..she made him nervous…he shrivelled…her vision for a day was God’s greatest gift to him…his love as pure as the driven snow stood an untold story…always… forever

And then the gadgetry saying of a “Dude” sometime when he was busy messaging his girl on his iPhone 3G, in the bloated summer of Twenty12:

"Dude, I don’t think so I “love” her anymore, though I “loved” her equally as did my ex…she is a special “girlfriend” u know….but now she appears to be one blonde…u saw how she behaved in the party last night after just tequila shot ? How could she?…I think it’s time to make my way into some new unidentified territories…must inform her on my new “iPhone” ....that girl burning the dance floor seems much better…ohh yeah!"

The age where relationships can be put up on a wardrobe..when MOVE ON is no more a Fastrack-al saying…where “love” has a new definition called fashion when once it used to be nothing but just passion…where emotions have a new saying…where mind darts the dress and never looks beyond…she exposes but hides the soul….he admires and notices, but forgets to love…she messages and performs a ritual according to her but forgets to emote....where ”fattu” is a term for singles…Casanova for multiples….where love’s biggest disaster is turning late on a date…has the world travelled space? Where are the Veers and the Zaaras?  Where are the Cleopatras  and the Mark Antonys?  Among all this glitz and glamour, am I really lucky to watch T20 or unlucky not to admire the gentleness of Test Cricket? And I ask this question, Is Vintage better than the vogue? Why has this world undergone such a cosmetic surgery of its emotions?  Why.?  Alas…bring that LOVE back….!

© copyright Akrox!! 2011.All Rights Reserved
*Credit for the line "उनकी यादों में इतना सुकून हैं...वो मिल जाते तो बात ही क्या थी" goes to Akash, my flat mate in Mumbai in the summer of 2012.

Making millions, Loosing trillions

Disclaimer: This piece of art is by no means meant to offend anyone dead or soon to be. This is based on my personal observation and is an outflow of an opinion. Any resemblance to any person dead or living (in an illusion of life) is a mere reinforcement of the fact that life for some is a “sedated bliss”.

As I see someone blowing out smokes of ignorance with a white tube of nicotine and slow poison while busy preparing for one of the toughest “exams” to illuminate his CV, I ask a question “Is it a preparation to win a lottery for earning millions or a regular exercise as he often does on the path of loosing trillions”, Oh My you white Devil, bonded many a labours and you continue to do, your charisma is such; CEO or a rickshaw puller mean the same to you; inequality as they say mean nothing to you. I pixel a world with all black and white, no colours and only frames of smoke as I see the whole world  busy making millions but losing trillions worth their life all because of you. Perverseness has a new definition; reason you.  I see the world loose the eternal meaning as they build castles of disaster and I cry, “thou Oh Lord, save ‘em save ‘em”.

The world would have been a different place, no misery and many a lives saved if not you. You are not a status symbol may I tell you, but an illusion called “sedated bliss”. You power is agony, an elusive ecstasy. At the juncture I cease, “Cigarette: A fire at one end, a fool at the other, and a bit of tobacco in between”.

Note:  Cigarette smoking is injurious to happiness. Save it, your life needs it.

Trustworthy: Are we or are we made to be?

“Don’t trust anyone unless you have eaten much salt with him”.  Standing at a bus stop with 15 unknown souls or travelling in a train with people who haven’t eaten that much talked about salt with you. You are not even aware but a relationship of trust is embedded in an unforeseen thread. In a world of meanings and materials, is it a case of a subconscious subsistence of mankind? It’s a nature’s unsolved puzzle or you may even call it a mystery but it defies and is beyond all the trivial logic of acting plastic with strangers. You can’t teach your subconscious mind, can you, probably the only part of your body where irrationality is most prominent.  Trust brims with strangers: Oxymoron? But the truth is that you do travel boundaries and distances with people you never saw while you act hesitant with your own kins. You may think twice before helping your own classmate or a colleague while it’s a reflex action for you to help someone struggling to cross the road in heavy traffic, add to it a burning sun. It is not a case of who needs you more; it’s a curious case of trust. Trust is a funny thing, it sure is, a catalyst which defies many a laid social parameters. At times I feel that this world is a comic forum while we all are such talented comics. Thought provoking, isn’t it? Errrrr, I forgot you don’t know me but I am sure you will TRUST me on this.

CopyRight ©Akrox!! 2012. All Rights Reserved

वो मैं था मैं

कभी किसी लेखक की कलम का एक खवाब था मैं,
उन उड़ते हुए परिंदों के आसमान छूने का अरमान था मैं
उँगलियों से गुदगुदाती हुई एक नन्ही सी गुडिया के चेहरे की हसी था मैं,
माँ के आँचल में मिलने वाले सुकून की एक तस्वीर था मैं
हाँ वो मैं था मैं

धडकने वाले दिल की पहली धड़कन था मैं,
सूरज की पहली किरण और चांदनी की पहली रौशनी था मैं
लिखी गयी कहानी का अंतिम अध्याय था मैं,
चली गयी चाल का अंतिम हिस्सा था मैं
हाँ वो मैं था मैं

खवाबो में बनाये गए सबसे खुबसूरत महल की पेशकश था मैं,
दूर कहीं किसी कोयल की कूक की एक ध्वनि था मैं
सुट्टे का आखरी कश और पिए गए जाम की आखरी घूँट था मैं,
सीखते सीखते इस सफ़र में की गयी गलती की आखरी चुक था मैं
हाँ वो मैं था मैं

आज उस लेखक ने इस खवाब को भुलाया है,
उड़ते हुए परिंदों ने इस अरमान को ठुकराया है
उन उँगलियों में गुदगुदी का एहसास ना रहा,
माँ के आँचल की तलाश की पर कोई रास्ता ना रहा
ना यह ना था मैं

अब वो धड़कने कुछ सोचती नहीं,
किरणे और चांदनी अब मुझे अपने आघोष में दबोचती नहीं
उस कहानी को पड़ने वाला वो विद्वान ना रहा,
चाल को चलने वाला वो खिलाडी ना रहा
ना यह ना था मैं

खवाब वही है पर वो महल न रहे,
कहीं दूर छुपी है वो कोयल सो अब वो गूंज ना रहे
सुट्टे के अब भुजने का धुंआ ही धुंआ है,
चूक नहीं होती क्यूंकि उपकरणों की संगत की दुआ ही दुआ है
ना यह ना था मैं

कहीं खोया हूँ मैं और जल्द अपनी ही तलाश है
फिर से वैसे दुनिया मैं हस्ते हुए बोलने का वही अरमान है
"हाँ यही था मैं, यही था मैं"


CopyRight ©Akrox!! 2012. All Rights Reserved

The Masked Acquaintance

As I shook my hand with masked acquaintances one after the other, a plastic smile prominent as ever greeted my emotions with sarcasm of friendship. My weak personality bore no faces and shook the hands firm. Yearning for a true comrade all these years, I have always been one love seeking soul. Solace is my objective, friendship my path but often being heavily crowded by masked acquaintances. I stopped along my path and fell for the smile eating on my emotional balance soon to realize friendship has another meaning and all I was surrounded by was nothing but only a masked acquaintance. I survived to live another day but the bullets kept on coming and never missed their two targets, my “mind” and my “heart” and made me fall each time. I stood and walked again waiting for the mask to fall but its existence became firmer. I am much stronger today or at least the thought prevails but why the world’s production of the masks is becoming too efficient and far too frequent. I am starving for unmasked benevolence but all I am getting is nothing but a masked acquaintance.

© copyright Akrox!! 2011.All Rights Reserved